Losing track of time; Losing my mind

I keep looking at the clock.

Keep looking at the date.

And then at my phone. To see if she's called. Or texted.

The answer is still the same. No.

I'm losing track of time, losing my mind at the same time.

I know I get to see her tomorrow. I know this. And it brings me a lot of comfort.

But at the same time... having not seen her since last Tuesday night... and not having talked to her since late Saturday night -- a conversation that I barely remember, and actually thought I had dreamed when I awoke Sunday -- I'm literally aching to hear her voice... aching to hold her hand, to wrap my arms around her and hug her. Each night, I fall asleep wishing she was next to me, arms wrapped tightly around a spare pillow; it is the only way I can fall asleep.

I'm scared. Scared of what is keeping her from calling. Scared of what she'll reveal when she returns.

Please send any spare positive vibes and feelings my way. I need all I can get.