The Grand Opening

Tuesday. Damn.

Went to a grand opening of a new Mexican restaurant, which is located in Cherry Creek North, called Tambien. It was muy bueno. Great margaritas, good food, fun, young atmosphere. And it was free. So all told, it really should have been awesome.

It was less than that. Damn.

I love the folks I work with. We go out, we have drinks, we laugh and joke a lot. So don't get it twisted.

I don't love hanging out with work folks that are dating each other. It's odd. And being the only single person in our office, if not our company, lends itself to some pretty awful situations.

I have this thing, where I feel like I'm being watched and judged all the time. Bizarre? No question. But true, nonetheless. So imagine my discomfort as Mike, Tori and I were seated, and I was once again the third wheel.

A little background here: I'm actually quite adept at being the third wheel. Jonathan, my best friend, recently got married, and I found myself on a lot of dates with him and his now-wife, Jessica. I didn't mind; I liked both of them very much, have known both for upwards of 10 years, so it was really like hanging out with two friends.

Tonight? Well, tonight was different. Damn.

Mike and Tori are dating, and that's... you know, whatever that is. Personally, I don't date people at work, but I've recently found out that I might be in the minority there, so whatever; let them do what they want.

However, hanging out with Mike and Tori, while fun, wasn't like hanging out with Jon and Jess. I felt the need and desire to entertain them, even though we were just out at dinner and drinks. What the hell is my problem??? I wasn't on stage, wasn't expected to perform, and yet there I was, doing my retarded Chris Matthews impression and yelling in a crowded restaurant. Just what the hell is the matter with me?

Which leads me to the following list of "Don'ts" for SDW.

1. Do not ask me, "How's your love life doin'?" unless you are A) female, and B) have immediate plans to change said love life from "stagnant" to "active." This is not up for debate.
2. Do not ask me to dinner if you're going with your significant other (and no one else). Just remember, it's hard enough being single without having all your friends remind you with actions at dinner just how single you are. I won't forget. I swear, I won't forget.
3. Don't ask me questions like, "Hey, which girl are you dating these days? You've got quite the roster." Even if I told you that I had quite the roster, it's likely that none of it is true. Just because I talk to a lot of girls does not mean any of them are interested in dating me. At all. Trust me, I've done the research.
4. If you just met a "really cute" girl and you think that we'd "be perfect for each other," save it. No, really. Introducing us is one thing, but if there is pressure going in, I won't be able to close the deal, so really all you've done is wasted your night, her night and my night. Introducing us is fine, but do not tell me what your intentions are. If I'm interested, I'll be sure to let you know.

The only reason I lay this stuff out for you is because I've experienced a rash of this crap lately, and it's gotta stop. Yes, I'm single. Yes, I'd like to date. No, I don't particularly want to date Jenny. No, I'm not entirely sure why. Yes, I wish things were different. No, I haven't met anyone new and interesting. Seriously. Lay. Off.

That said, it's not all bad. Being single, I mean. At least I can come home, take my pants off, and write a blog in the comfort of my own apartment, without worrying about offending anyone.

Fuck it. Maybe I should just stay single. As if it's up to me.